Feds issue guidelines for smores

Isn’t it great to live in the United States? To have a government that is so interested in the well being of its residents is fantastic! The public school system is so concerned about the self-esteem of its students that showers after P.E. classes are no longer allowed (if they actually have P.E. classes). To insure workers safety at the construction site, the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration) has decided to join OSHA in inspecting sky cranes. Do sky cranes fly now? They must, if the FAA is involved. Isn’t our government wonderful? Now, the U.S. Forest Service wants to protect us from unsafe smore making practices. (http://dailycaller.com/2014/09/04/u-s-forest-service-issues-recommendations-for-making-smores/)
Yes, apparently the U.S. Forest Service believes too many people are making smores improperly. Friday was National Roasted Marshmallow Day, and to mark the occasion, the U.S. Forest Service issued guidelines on how to make smores. The guidelines are as follows, one: make sure the campfire is not built within 15 feet of tents, trees or anything flammable. Okay, I understand the need for fire safety. This next step is where they lose me. Two: keep children at least feet from the campfire. How are children supposed to learn how to make smores if they are 10 feet from the fire? Three: use a stick of at least 30 inches in length to roast the marshmallows. They also recommend substituting the chocolate with pineapple and the graham crackers with angel-food cake to make it more healthy. Now I ask you, when you go camping are you going to take canned fruit and perishables with you for a once-a- year treat? Must everything be healthy, constantly? If life can’t be fun, delicious and sweet, is it worth it?

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